Nobody likes Bryan Johnson’s breakfast at the Network School

A cafe run by immortality-obsessed multi-millionaire Bryan Johnson is reportedly struggling to attract customers with students at the crypto-funded Network School in Singapore preferring the hotel’s breakfast buffet over “bunny food.”

According to Electra Frost, founder of the Digital Playhouse Foundation, students are opting for the hotel breakfast instead of Johnson’s apparently healthier options because they crave “more protein and tastes of home.”

She added, “Unfortunately, our Network School Cafe has been empty in the mornings because people want more than “bunny food” to start the day.”

Does nobody want to improve their night-time erections?

The Network School offers Johnson’s healthy food and a fitness program called the Blueprint Protocol. He claims that after three years of following his blueprint

• the duration of his night-time erections totals 179 minutes, “better than the average 18-year-old”
• he ages slower than 99% of 20-year-olds
• he has 80% fewer gray hairs, representing a “31-year age reversal”

Johnson also swapped a liter of his blood with his then-17-year-old son and accepted the blood of other young donors to try to halt the aging process. The blood transfusions showed no benefits and Johnson shuttered the idea.